Emily once ate a star. Stars are not like cookies though, if you eat a cookie out of the oven before it cools you will burn your mouth. If you eat a star before it cools you will die....horribly...so nastily that death might not come for you because your horrible death might make it sick.
Emily ate a star, God had not hung a "Caution: Fire Hot" sign around the star and so in Emily's defence, she had no way of knowing that it was hot as stars were still new in the Universe..so was hot for that fact. Emily ate a star because it was shiny and bright and looked like it might taste good. Taste had just been invented. But stars come in one flavour...Hot....very hot.
And so Emily tasted a star and she burned the roof of her mouth, her mouth, her teeth, her head, her name, her head, her hair, her neck, her sense of humour, her shoulders, her heart, her lasez faire attitude, her breasts, her stomach, her arms, her love of puppies, her legs and her feet. Emily ate a star and she burned and her screams rippled throughout time and space, fading the farther it travelled. Her screams are quiet now that only babies can hear them..which is why they cry for no reason. Stupid Emily.
So it's EMILY'S FAULT!! Stupid Emily indeed.
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